Reactions

When a rich man gets something valuable ripped out of hands, beyond his will for racist remarks made in the privacy of his own home, its gonna send reaction ripples over a grand gossip-hungry stage.  Most feel a sense of perverse pleasure that he went down in flames in such an act of sinister betrayal by some so-called associates or friends.  This man had been hated by many for a long time for a reputation of being a complete jerk, bigot and all-round lousy person.  With all that aside, I was still shocked to see how quickly judgment was passed in the court of public opinion, and ultimately in the loss of ownership of his NBA franchise.  He probably had this coming for a long time, and certainly the punishment fit the crime.  My concern is what happens to us when we cry justice for the other guy, and mercy for ourselves.  America revels in harsh punishment for public figures who often carry the same character flaws we do, and maybe gets too much pleasure in watching the house burn.  Racist bigotry is dark and insidious, a mindset that is instilled in some mindsets at a very early age.  They are indoctrinated into the lies of priviledge and prestige over another race, and can't help but fall deeply in love with the benefits and the feelings of superiority that  this mindset affords.  What they don't realize, is that in most circles of America, their thoughts are looked at as repugnant ignorance, deeply distasteful and should never be shared.   America's justice structures today are not into harsh, swift judgment, especially for the upper class rich, and holding someone accountable for even their private comments is shocking none the less.  Publishing private conversations and moments of indiscretion in LA is nothing new,  and usually ends with that person becoming some type of 'cult hero' and buzz of the week.  Sadly, the gossip magazines know this, and it allows the public to 'rate' the transgression and carry on making of it what they will.  There is a story in the Bible, however, that casts a very different reaction in the public when someone is given swift and harsh judgment for their sin.  In Acts 5,  a man named Ananais and his wife Sapphira recieve the death penalty instantly for attempting to lie to the Holy Spirit, and a group of believers about a property transaction.  Verse 11 drives the point home when you read about the reaction of those who witnessed the punishment:  "Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events."    I am not drumming up sympathy for this LA team owner,  but more a heart check when we witness the fall of the proud, the bigots, the morally bankrupt figures of our day and age.  We should always cry out to God for justice to be done swiftly, but for the greater purpose of sending fear into the hearts of all sinners as a reminder that we must all give account one day for every word idly spoken.  

The Past

Someone recently said to me that their past is still a part of them.  When I heard that, the scriptures came flooding in that refute this seemingly innocent truth that our past holds sway over us in personality, character and more.  It caused quite a bit of heartache in me personally, because I look at sin as a 'sticky substance,'  something to be repented of, but also to be free of as well.  Christ forgives us, but he also sets us free through death.  How many times in scripture does the writer use the word 'death' to describe our relationship to the past?  Why does our past self need to suffer a death for us to 'live' in the future God has for us?  Why must we reckon ourselves 'dead' to the former self, and cease to long for that person to rise again?  Just taking quick 'peeks' of remembrance to my former self makes me cringe sometimes, and horrified at the level of corruption, selfishness, and cunning at which I operated in this world at such a young age.  Sin is like an advanced form of cancer, not waiting around to infect and destroy every vital organ.  If that 'self' wasn't killed at the cross of Christ, the world would not be a better place with the advanced form of me years down the road.  I celebrate daily the fact that I 'died', and God's righteous seed in me took root and began to grow when I surrendered to His Son.  Every part of my past is not dark, but every part of my past was laced with sin, and sin affected every part of my existence.   So the word 'death' to my former self no longer sounds so harsh, and newness of life and true hope spring out of that.   This verse, along a vast number of others, sums up the thoughts in Romans 6:6- "For we know that our old self was crucified with him, so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."

A day further on...

Recently I have been meditating more on the thought of what I want to leave with my wife and kids as an indelible mark should something happen to me, and they carry on with life.  I think every father wants to their words to be remembered, but ultimately we need to marry our thoughts and instructions with our actions and example in daily life.  I love teaching on what is learned about the endless grace of God to my family because I am passionate to see them walk in a greater revelation of grace. To not only live forgiven and free of crippling condemnation, but empowered by that same grace to say 'No' to sin and selfishness.  More and more it seems to me its the most important life lesson and application to fully grasp what it means to 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling.'  A weak understanding of God's grace, which either makes it cheap (not applying it to say no to sin), or destructive judgmental attitudes towards yourself or others that arise from a lack of applying undeserved favor.  I don't report myself as an expert in the understanding or example living of a grace recipient, I just know there is more to come and is at the center of redemption for us all.  God gives us all light to walk in, and who wouldn't want those we love to have that same light to walk out their own adventure and story.  I do want my kids to remember my words, what I taught, but also remember the times of transformation and a man who could be imitated for his faith.  A faith that is imitable is a useful faith, as others come along for the fruitful journey. 

Are you Free?

I'm convinced that one of the deeper joys of heaven will be freedom that is expressed and unbridled forever.  Although freedom is not fully perfect without restrictions, it will be awesome to push through the boundaries of our limited and insecure mindsets that plague us in this sinful world.  One thought that keeps pressing me lately is:  'Have I placed unnecessary restrictions on life because of fear and mistrust of others?'  The answer to that is obvious, and I keep asking myself in key areas:  'Is this the best it could be?'  'What am I doing to make this average instead of awesome and inspiring?'  Inspiration comes when you peek into the ideal state of things, then pull every resource and effort to realize that dream.  Freedom is an inspiring state of things, where you don't restrict yourself or others with negative thoughts and behaviors.  Freedom is a spacious place, full of creativity and warmth, where there is plenty of energy to serve and inspire others around you daily.  Free people are trusting people, who are slow to make assumptions, and spend little mental energy filling in the blanks of what they think they know about someone.  A free individual assumes they know less than half of what there is to know about someone, and gets to enjoy the mystery and discovery of relationships around them.  Restrictions come from us when we're convinced we know all there is to know about humanity, and we place rigid walls around others and their potential because we do not TRUST them!  Now its true that if you are a human, you have probably earned some of that mistrust and misunderstanding from others.   If you have burned bridges of trust within relationships, as I have, then you can respond with faith instead of excuses and cover ups, and say, ' I believe God will change this below average behavior in me, and my apology will soon be validated because of His great power working within me!'  In Christ,  you can live free of that oppressive bondage forming around you by truly understanding your place in Him.  Our potential is limitless in this life and the life to come because of the God life resonating and rejuvenating our spirits daily and forever.  Scripture says, "though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  The bible is  an impossibly frustrating book to read if approached outside of faith.  If you don't believe the words are true in it,  or possible for you in this life to make you free, then its a grind.  Jesus said, 'you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free...'  If you don't believe you are headed into freedom through his word, then the only other alternative is a smaller, and smaller, more uncomfortable restrictive space.  Within the boundaries of God, there is plenty of space to enjoy the euphoria of life with others around you, and enjoy Him forever. 

The Dichotomy in Me

Recent events have helped me tremendously understand the dual nature of who are in essence.  When God is allowed to shed the light on my heart, and take me back to earlier times in my life, and then fast forward to the present, I see things more clearly.  You really begin to understand the effects of sin's stain, and its unbeatable control on our destiny if He doesn't free us.  Everything is affected, especially intimacy with Him and with others.  I see so clearly the old nature still stealing time, and fighting this new nature that God birthed in me at salvation.  What a war that wages, with one inner man struggling to gain strength, against an old man that is ravaged by sin's effects.  Of course its the new man that we want to consistently be, but till this point, cannot boast such a claim.  My only hope for any type of meaningful, enduring wholeness is tied to this wonderful new man that God created in me at the moment I surrendered to Him, and all a work of His grace.  The old man is insecure, selfish, preoccupied with much of the wrong priorities, unfocused, undisciplined, lazy, and full of defeat.  The new man on the other side of this dichotomy,  is full of faith, loves God and others, self-sacrifices and gets on with life as an over-comer.   Romans takes this challenge that I face and makes it clear that salvation starts a necessary war in me, that unless I take on, I cannot ever say I rule and reign in life.  Sin is just to clever, subversive and sinister to defeat on your own wits and good intentions.  Sin wins 100% of the time outside of the saving grace that God freely provides the humble ones.  When I feed my old self, usually through the door of self-pity and self-loathing, moments and often longer periods of time get stolen from the abundant life that Jesus said starts at rebirth.  Thousands of books have been written on how to have your "better life", people wanting to determine the path to a life fully lived, absent of regret and destructive behavior.   Abundant life is now, a gift, not an existence earned by putting much 'good karma' out there.  How exhausting it must be to even try to earn a good life, when you have a sinful, selfish nature fighting you every moment, sabotaging even your best efforts and intentions.  What is given freely to us as an act of God's grace, is way more powerful to live a good life for God, others, and yourself- and is always in abundant supply.   Supply is everything if you want to sustain anything, that is why our penchant to return to self-effort is so deceiving.  We think we can change a nasty habit, but have no idea how much supply we will need to sustain our changes for a lifetime.   I can't tell you how bad I hate the old self in me, how much havoc it has wreaked in my life, my marriage, my parenting, etc...  I can be honest and say that as much as I hate it, there seems to be this default button in me that reverts to its weakness more times than I would like to admit.  Just hating it isn't enough,  keeping in step with the Spirit of God who fosters and strengthens my new inner man is the key.  He is the one who keeps me sane in this war against my flesh, and I feel so strong when He is near.  The Spirit of God is the one who can handle me, bring me under control, and set straight all that gets crooked in my life.  It's becoming a daily prayer of mine to ask the Spirit of God to bring me under control, and allow me to keep in step with Him.  What a better way forward!

Intelligent Design

If you're like me, you really like clever design and something that functions perfect towards its original intent.  In fact, you might even become interested in reading up on its creator/inventor, the clever one who engineered the 'something' you think is so cool.  Clear creativity is fascinating, as often the inspiration is a mystery, but the outcome is so impacting in its outworking to make life easier, enjoyable, efficient, etc.  Usually a few men or women emerge from their generation to lead the way in creative expression, and the ripple effects of their work changes the way society operates.  Our generation had Steve Jobs, who certainly has his share of 'successful gadgets and products' that would certainly draw admiration for intelligent design.  Why then, if the earth and the heavens, which vibrate with intelligent design and balance, cause intellectuals to come up with terribly unintelligent ways to discredit the Intelligent One who deserves admiration for His work?  It was a 'Big Bang'?  It was space aliens?  It was evolutionary probability?  What did God do to earn such disregard for His handiwork?  If I see a ton of evidence (and there is a ton) that Intelligent Design is in place, then it makes perfect logical sense to hypothesis that an Intelligent One exists.  He is higher in the order of things, above His creation, and able to reveal Himself as He chooses, on His terms.  Why is that so hard to give up?  Is human pride so rock solid, that logic is tossed out and we can never reach the right conclusion, or maybe even reach out to know Him better?  Amazingly enough, as hard as we have worked to marginalize God, He still reaches out to reconcile with us and re-establish a very broken cord of relationship.  I guess even the most ardent thinker will have to continue to bash his wits against that simple truth: God is, and when you are ready to climb up the mountain of evidence that makes it obvious, He will meet with you. 

Los Angeles

Looking out from Jayne's Echo Park apartment, you can see the city of Los Angeles' skyline, and it just calls out to me for an adventure each time.  I stay here on business trips periodically and this time, I decided to jog the 4 miles down to the Staples Center where the LA Lakers play and other teams represent the city, and was not disappointed with what I got see on my way.  I have a little bit of Bilbo Baggins in me that hankers for a new adventure, with new sites and smells and people living a completely different existence than mine.  LA, block by block changes in an instant, from the business district down Figueroa St, to the homeless sleeping under overpasses, to the decaying neighborhoods two short blocks away.  As I ran, I asked God what he thinks about LA, and was His outlook and mood as gloomy as mine, as my thoughts helplessly run to the multi-layers of sin expressed in greed, pride, immorality, violence, etc.  I asked Him if He still delights in this city, invests any hope for restoration and redemption, or will wicked men just rule it like kings till the end.  I felt His delight for the people in all the different layers, His mood much brighter than my skepticism, and compassion far hotter than my cold assessing calculations.  God hopes all things, believes all things, and enjoys Himself, as He fully invests in redemption at every stage of sin's dark advance.  What shocks me and brings a skeptics doubt, sets Him back not at all.  I enjoyed my 8 mile adventure through downtown LA (There and Back Again, by Eric Baggins), but more enjoyed being with Him who is any crowded city's true light and joy.  Oh, if those who don't know Him like that could just taste and see, that the Lord is good, full of goodness and slow to anger, LA would be washed clean. I love this city!