Are you Free?

I'm convinced that one of the deeper joys of heaven will be freedom that is expressed and unbridled forever.  Although freedom is not fully perfect without restrictions, it will be awesome to push through the boundaries of our limited and insecure mindsets that plague us in this sinful world.  One thought that keeps pressing me lately is:  'Have I placed unnecessary restrictions on life because of fear and mistrust of others?'  The answer to that is obvious, and I keep asking myself in key areas:  'Is this the best it could be?'  'What am I doing to make this average instead of awesome and inspiring?'  Inspiration comes when you peek into the ideal state of things, then pull every resource and effort to realize that dream.  Freedom is an inspiring state of things, where you don't restrict yourself or others with negative thoughts and behaviors.  Freedom is a spacious place, full of creativity and warmth, where there is plenty of energy to serve and inspire others around you daily.  Free people are trusting people, who are slow to make assumptions, and spend little mental energy filling in the blanks of what they think they know about someone.  A free individual assumes they know less than half of what there is to know about someone, and gets to enjoy the mystery and discovery of relationships around them.  Restrictions come from us when we're convinced we know all there is to know about humanity, and we place rigid walls around others and their potential because we do not TRUST them!  Now its true that if you are a human, you have probably earned some of that mistrust and misunderstanding from others.   If you have burned bridges of trust within relationships, as I have, then you can respond with faith instead of excuses and cover ups, and say, ' I believe God will change this below average behavior in me, and my apology will soon be validated because of His great power working within me!'  In Christ,  you can live free of that oppressive bondage forming around you by truly understanding your place in Him.  Our potential is limitless in this life and the life to come because of the God life resonating and rejuvenating our spirits daily and forever.  Scripture says, "though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  The bible is  an impossibly frustrating book to read if approached outside of faith.  If you don't believe the words are true in it,  or possible for you in this life to make you free, then its a grind.  Jesus said, 'you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free...'  If you don't believe you are headed into freedom through his word, then the only other alternative is a smaller, and smaller, more uncomfortable restrictive space.  Within the boundaries of God, there is plenty of space to enjoy the euphoria of life with others around you, and enjoy Him forever. 

The Dichotomy in Me

Recent events have helped me tremendously understand the dual nature of who are in essence.  When God is allowed to shed the light on my heart, and take me back to earlier times in my life, and then fast forward to the present, I see things more clearly.  You really begin to understand the effects of sin's stain, and its unbeatable control on our destiny if He doesn't free us.  Everything is affected, especially intimacy with Him and with others.  I see so clearly the old nature still stealing time, and fighting this new nature that God birthed in me at salvation.  What a war that wages, with one inner man struggling to gain strength, against an old man that is ravaged by sin's effects.  Of course its the new man that we want to consistently be, but till this point, cannot boast such a claim.  My only hope for any type of meaningful, enduring wholeness is tied to this wonderful new man that God created in me at the moment I surrendered to Him, and all a work of His grace.  The old man is insecure, selfish, preoccupied with much of the wrong priorities, unfocused, undisciplined, lazy, and full of defeat.  The new man on the other side of this dichotomy,  is full of faith, loves God and others, self-sacrifices and gets on with life as an over-comer.   Romans takes this challenge that I face and makes it clear that salvation starts a necessary war in me, that unless I take on, I cannot ever say I rule and reign in life.  Sin is just to clever, subversive and sinister to defeat on your own wits and good intentions.  Sin wins 100% of the time outside of the saving grace that God freely provides the humble ones.  When I feed my old self, usually through the door of self-pity and self-loathing, moments and often longer periods of time get stolen from the abundant life that Jesus said starts at rebirth.  Thousands of books have been written on how to have your "better life", people wanting to determine the path to a life fully lived, absent of regret and destructive behavior.   Abundant life is now, a gift, not an existence earned by putting much 'good karma' out there.  How exhausting it must be to even try to earn a good life, when you have a sinful, selfish nature fighting you every moment, sabotaging even your best efforts and intentions.  What is given freely to us as an act of God's grace, is way more powerful to live a good life for God, others, and yourself- and is always in abundant supply.   Supply is everything if you want to sustain anything, that is why our penchant to return to self-effort is so deceiving.  We think we can change a nasty habit, but have no idea how much supply we will need to sustain our changes for a lifetime.   I can't tell you how bad I hate the old self in me, how much havoc it has wreaked in my life, my marriage, my parenting, etc...  I can be honest and say that as much as I hate it, there seems to be this default button in me that reverts to its weakness more times than I would like to admit.  Just hating it isn't enough,  keeping in step with the Spirit of God who fosters and strengthens my new inner man is the key.  He is the one who keeps me sane in this war against my flesh, and I feel so strong when He is near.  The Spirit of God is the one who can handle me, bring me under control, and set straight all that gets crooked in my life.  It's becoming a daily prayer of mine to ask the Spirit of God to bring me under control, and allow me to keep in step with Him.  What a better way forward!

Intelligent Design

If you're like me, you really like clever design and something that functions perfect towards its original intent.  In fact, you might even become interested in reading up on its creator/inventor, the clever one who engineered the 'something' you think is so cool.  Clear creativity is fascinating, as often the inspiration is a mystery, but the outcome is so impacting in its outworking to make life easier, enjoyable, efficient, etc.  Usually a few men or women emerge from their generation to lead the way in creative expression, and the ripple effects of their work changes the way society operates.  Our generation had Steve Jobs, who certainly has his share of 'successful gadgets and products' that would certainly draw admiration for intelligent design.  Why then, if the earth and the heavens, which vibrate with intelligent design and balance, cause intellectuals to come up with terribly unintelligent ways to discredit the Intelligent One who deserves admiration for His work?  It was a 'Big Bang'?  It was space aliens?  It was evolutionary probability?  What did God do to earn such disregard for His handiwork?  If I see a ton of evidence (and there is a ton) that Intelligent Design is in place, then it makes perfect logical sense to hypothesis that an Intelligent One exists.  He is higher in the order of things, above His creation, and able to reveal Himself as He chooses, on His terms.  Why is that so hard to give up?  Is human pride so rock solid, that logic is tossed out and we can never reach the right conclusion, or maybe even reach out to know Him better?  Amazingly enough, as hard as we have worked to marginalize God, He still reaches out to reconcile with us and re-establish a very broken cord of relationship.  I guess even the most ardent thinker will have to continue to bash his wits against that simple truth: God is, and when you are ready to climb up the mountain of evidence that makes it obvious, He will meet with you. 

Los Angeles

Looking out from Jayne's Echo Park apartment, you can see the city of Los Angeles' skyline, and it just calls out to me for an adventure each time.  I stay here on business trips periodically and this time, I decided to jog the 4 miles down to the Staples Center where the LA Lakers play and other teams represent the city, and was not disappointed with what I got see on my way.  I have a little bit of Bilbo Baggins in me that hankers for a new adventure, with new sites and smells and people living a completely different existence than mine.  LA, block by block changes in an instant, from the business district down Figueroa St, to the homeless sleeping under overpasses, to the decaying neighborhoods two short blocks away.  As I ran, I asked God what he thinks about LA, and was His outlook and mood as gloomy as mine, as my thoughts helplessly run to the multi-layers of sin expressed in greed, pride, immorality, violence, etc.  I asked Him if He still delights in this city, invests any hope for restoration and redemption, or will wicked men just rule it like kings till the end.  I felt His delight for the people in all the different layers, His mood much brighter than my skepticism, and compassion far hotter than my cold assessing calculations.  God hopes all things, believes all things, and enjoys Himself, as He fully invests in redemption at every stage of sin's dark advance.  What shocks me and brings a skeptics doubt, sets Him back not at all.  I enjoyed my 8 mile adventure through downtown LA (There and Back Again, by Eric Baggins), but more enjoyed being with Him who is any crowded city's true light and joy.  Oh, if those who don't know Him like that could just taste and see, that the Lord is good, full of goodness and slow to anger, LA would be washed clean. I love this city!

It's Getting Away from Us

Recently I have become very aware of how many different 'pursuits' to self-discovery people in this generation give themselves wholly too.  There are too many to list here, and I know we could come up with a few more.  Whilst I think having interests and hobbies and pursuits is a God thing, what that 'pursuit' does to shape your destiny can often be a path to disappointment.  There is probably some real value in realistic expectations towards most of what we place high priority on, and view it as 'striving after the wind'.  Should we look at this life and say that there is nothing worth putting effort into, or setting some goals and expectations?  Certainly not, that would be depressing.  However, for a follower of Christ, a heart set on eternity, where 'pursuits' have eternal significance, maybe it is good to do an inventory of what we have wrapped our hearts around.  Maybe look at what we spend our money on, invest in and try to maintain?  How much do Americans spend on looking forever young?  How much time should we spend on things that are destined for decay, and have no eternal value?   Unbelievers I observe have an insatiable desire to maintain self-satisfaction or 'Live the Dream!'  The destructive path they leave is unmistakeable and heart-breaking to see how many people had to suffer neglect or abuse to keep those dream wheels turning.  I have to say with some sadness that I see some believers caught up in the same rat race.  I find myself tempted daily to kick off restraint and start looking out for me and getting mine!  I hope I never stop getting disgusted with that thought, like the blended McDonald's Happy Meal Riley's friends made him drink last night!  The key to freedom in life is a detachment from selfishness that only God can accomplish.  When we reach the end of ourselves and embrace Jesus with a whole-hearted pursuit, it's like breathing fresh air for the first time.  It still hurts to see friends, co-workers caught in the vice of a self-driven pursuit, especially when you have already been down that road.  You can only pray they come to their senses, and exchange temporary futility for a eternal satisfaction in Christ.

Blank Pages and Uncomfortable Lenses

I find a lot of richness in the storybook metaphor when describing turns in life's journey.  Clear descriptive pictures come easily to mind when I need to define a new 'chapter' or turning of the 'page.'  One picture that is helpful, but can cause some anxiety is the blank page, however.  When someone who brought so much color to your story passes away, sometimes the thought of "what now?" can creep in.  It's amazing how different a distinct new chapter feels, and how desperately you need a fresh set of lenses to view life on a fresh page.  You really can't hold onto paradigms or ways of thinking that are clearly no longer relevant to the road ahead.  It's helpful to delicately strike a balance between holding onto your roots and heritage, and letting go of superfluous baggage that weighs you down in search of fresh vision/creativity.  God never intended for us to read through our story with the same set of lenses that shaped our world view (paradigm) in the past.  He gives us, albeit uncomfortable at times, new spectacles that pick up new colors and texture, and bring along plots and subplots that make life adventurous and edgy.  I have come to a place of dependence on God to make life interesting and engaging again, and realizing that previous chapters had me gripping the pen to tight, as I attempted to scribe a novel to my liking.  How exciting and terrifying to know that only He can breathe new life into this next story line.  Such anticipation builds to see who will get written into the script as we cross paths in ways only He can orchestrate.

Fathers

As I sit in Starbucks sipping go-go juice I am reminded of what a spiritual father in our church said last night to us at a prayer gathering.  "Fatherlessness is rampant in our world, and the church provides an answer..." (paraphrased)  This week our family said goodbye to a father in our house in Dave Wood.  He provided an often fragile clan the comfort and direction we needed time and time again.  There should be a sense of anxiety toward an uncertain future, a fear that creeps in that Dave's role is just to big to fill.  But in the exact opposite spirit, there is a fresh sense of hope, a security that a good foundation has been laid.
  Dave was a fully devoted follower of Christ, so there are so many patterns and practices that can be mirrored going forward for us making important decisions.  There will be times when God asks us like Isaac to not mimic the actions of the fathers who have gone before, but to find fresh faith for our own journey.  There are so many things I want to honor and remember that Dave taught me in leadership, but I know he would as a good father say, "You must now find your way in God."  I realize now that so much of what Dave modeled to us was for such a time as this, when he is no longer with us.  Something of the call from Chris Wienand to provide fathering in the sea of fatherlessness rings clearer now.  How many people would have fresh faith and courage for their uncertain future if they had a father like Dave to spend time with?    I look forward to the years ahead, when a legacy can be passed on, and new paths can be opened to us as a family.